Review: High School of the Dead or Bouncy Boob of the Titties

There is too much that can be said about this show. But allow me to sum it up in two words: pure shit. If you actually like this show you’re a fucking idiot.

You know, I thought that anime + zombies = coolest thing ever. And I’ll be honest, I don’t mind a panty shot or two. High School of the Dead (HSotD) pretty much had everything going for it. I was excited.

Zombies: Not the focus of this story.

Then I watched it.

You know, I should have seen it coming from the OP. Granted, I think the only reason I returned to the show week after week was for the OP. That song is the best thing the show has to offer.

So yes, anyway, the show has the makings of a great plot and some interesting characters. Then you get to the extremely stupid big tittied nurse.

Oh god the titties. They didn’t move like real things, especially considering that they were wearing bras which constrict that kinda movement. It was like balloons, but they couldn’t pop.

The Curious Case of Fanservice in Shoujo

Here's a shocker: sex actually happens (tastefully even) in shoujo!

I had always attributed fanservice, the sudden showing of scantly clad characters, to the realms of shounen and seinen (manga targeted at boys and older men). I thought it was something that only perverted men (read: all of us) would happily tolerate and encourage.

But then I noticed my fiancee reading a certain shoujo (manga targeted at girls) called Love Monster. It was a long series and I tended to notice every so often that the main character, a female, would suddenly have her clothes taken off, ripped off, or that she would be touched, rubbed, and poked at by the main lead, or doing something very raunchy in the mind of another character.

In fact, it was done in such a way that would give Ken Akamatsu (Love Hina, Negima) a run for his money. I almost didn’t think it was shoujo, but further inspection proved it was very shoujo. I was confused and found myself looking at a bunch of the other shoujo we have, which is a lot.

Fanservice, everywhere.

Whether it be the main female lead getting felt up and almost raped or some pesudo boy love (yaoi for you hipsters), it was always there. But why? Why were there sexual themes involving women in a piece directed at women.

I thought hard about this for awhile, and then it hit me: women like sex too.

MYSTERY SOLVED!

How to Enhance Anime (or Just About Anything)

The only reason to watch this show.

I don’t understand why, but for some reason I find ways to forcefully make watching various anime better. While you could do this to make bad shows alright, it is fun making good shows better. Allow me to give you some examples.

Example 1: Yumeiro Pâtissière SP Professional

Summary from MAL:

“The second season of Yumeiro Patissiere will take place when the main characters are in high school and are polishing their pastry skills.”

Now, I’m a sucker for shojo. I will fully admit this and I know that most people that have a Y chromosome will not think to even give this show a glance. That’s fine and I understand the reasoning. However, I also have a reason  why you should watch this show:

Johnny. Johnny McBeal is the reason to watch this show. Not the fact that it’s a cute shojo about a young girl chasing her dreams about being a pastry chef. Not for the tension between her and the suddenly violent man she sorta had a thing with. No, you don’t need to even see the first 50 episodes from the first season. Skip straight to the second season to bask in the glory of Johnny McBeal and the show’s sudden interest in Engrish.

Engrish! Engrish everywhere! From the OP to the first few minutes of the show the characters will be trying to say things English and failing terribly. But that’s not where the show shines. The show stopper is Johnny.

I swear to you, Johnny McBeal’s real name is Terry Bogard.

The Problem with MAL Or How to Review Anime for Complete Morons

In theory, websites such as My Anime List (hereby referred to as MAL) provide fans with a community where they can share thoughts and opinions about anime, new and old.

However, what it actually provides is a shitting ground for idiots with too much time on their hands to rant about how awesome “Brand New Show A” is via arbitrary points.

Now, don’t get me wrong, I love sites like MAL. I even have an account there that I never update. Yet, every time I go there I get the urge to jump through the internet and punch people. This is because of the Reviews and the god awful Recommendations.

Before I go any further, allow me to flaunt my only Reasons Why I’m Qualified. I have a degree in English, which basically means that I spent a good four years studying story telling mediums. Not just books kids, I looked at and wrote about everything, including books, movies, TV shows, comics, and even video games. So yes, I know how to judge these things. That being said here are some rules that are commonly broken on MAL and by practically every goddamn weeaboo ever.